Love Thyself - 5 Ways to Spot & Get Out of That Harmful Relationship
How do you feel today? How do you really feel about love, life and your pursuit of happiness? Is this just some cheesy cliché, or is there a deeper meaning to what true happiness is? Better yet, is it even possible?
Let's start with the great "you" that you want to be and then the "you" that the world sees today. When it comes to relationships, things do not have to be as complicated as we make them! Even the possibility of being approached by the opposite sex while completing the simplest task of pumping gas into your car rings visions of doubt such as....."Wow, he is cute but is my hair alright in this boring ponytail? Does my car look as worn down and desperate as I feel? Darn, are those cigarettes he's pulling out his pocket? Uhhhh, I do not date smokers!" Girlfriend, you are worried about the wrongs things, slow down!
First off, that mundane ponytail was there the moment before you BOTH ran out of unleaded gasoline. More importantly, men are much more attracted to confidence, so let's pump that into your new outlook.
Here's another scenario. Yes, Marlboro Man approached you spewing a string of come-ons, including the classic "If I were your man, you would not be out here pumping gas." Yet somehow his number made its way to the back of your Dairy Queen receipt adorned with strawberry sundae sauce crumbled in your car console, and you now have this torrid tango going for over 6 months. How did this happen?
Let's be clear, you have always been the independent type, never the "Come save me, sir!" Just for the record, he has yet to pump your gas, still has not introduced you to his friends, you now have stock in the Phillip Morris Company, and you’re not even a smoker! And who's number was scribbled on that napkin in his pocket from Freddie’s Sin Den? Not that it was the first time you discovered such. The final straw was when he announced that he was quitting his job in order to “find himself".
Sounds like it's time for you to find another love, yourself! How can we truly love anyone to our fullest if we are struggling with who we are? Little things such as the bad hair day and embarrassment of your own car eluded energy to Mr. Loser that you had low esteem issues.
Ready for a YOU Make Over? Let's get started!
Write a list with your 3-month "New Me" goals.
Get involved in your community by visiting a church or volunteer at a local shelter, adding balance to your spiritual foundation or giving your time to the less fortunate will make you feel better about yourself. Your "deadbeat Pete" will feel you pulling away, but remember, it's all about creating your new HAPPY foundation!
Connect with old girlfriends, who always seem to have a positive disposition, everyone has a "Happy Hilda". Invite her to lunch!
Learn to say No! If you feel low about constantly buying the smokes and now paying all the bills, put it away in your "Lock Change Fund".
Change the locks! During your pre-exit talk, be a lady. Try to resist putting your man down or playing the blame game. Don't give in, your goal is to get out. Feeling better yet? Sure you are! Your new-found fate is something to be excited about; a toxic relationship is a parasite that must be cut out.
Before you dash out your door for the day, rise an hour earlier to enjoy the sunrise, catch up with a book that takes you away, try that new body spray you grabbed at the counter and get ready to embrace your best chapter ever by "loving thyself".
Let me know in the comments below, how you’ve learned to love yourself right out of that abusive relationship! You are strong, You are fierce, You are YOU – be the best version of you that you possibly could be!
Yours truly, Charlotte Evans
Charlotte Evans is a co-host on No Conduct Radio (www.noconduct.com), a relationship advice podcast which airs every Thursday at 6pm est. Char has worked as a Lifestyle & Advice Columnist for Ask Vegas Valerie, Contributing Writer & Relationship Advisor for OVM Magazine, Expedia Advisor, Keen and the Creator, Editor & Publisher for Vegas & The Beauty Magazine followed by an extensive background in Corporate Sales Publications.